I started thinking about friendship the other day. People often tease me about my “internet” friends or “digital” friends.
Are they less than?
To explore this topic, let’s go to the beginning.
Childhood Friendships
In early childhood, you may have friends because your moms hang out. You may be in the same class. You may live on the same street.
Proximity and convenience are the the kick starters to most, if not all, childhood friendships. Whether or not they continue throughout life has more to do with how each person values themselves, their time invested in the friendship, and the time it would take to continue. We grow up, move away, and move on.
Fortunately, Facebook has allowed many of these childhood friendships to reignite or die of malnutrition.
Digital Age
Let’s come back.
Early Adult Friendships
Early adult friendships begin because you’re college roommates, co-workers, or you know a friend-of-a-friend. Maybe a group all went to a music festival, camping trip, or toured Europe together. Those friendships usually continue until some or all get married. (more…)
I mean, if you have the time to change your purse to match every outfit, you go with your bad self.
This would be akin to being present on multiple social networks.
Some of us choose to spend our time online. So to be on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google Plus, and YouTube is no big thing.
If you just want to pick up your purse and leave the house, this may not be an option for you.
So now you have to choose.
Do you need space? Maybe Facebook is the right network for you. It has a larger audience and global footprint.
If you want less in your purse, maybe a clutch fits your style better than a messenger bag. After all, it is less burdensome and more fashionable. That’d be Twitter, in my opinion.
It doesn’t really matter what you think is cool now. In 90 days to 2 years [insert new cool hip social network here] will come about and be the “new thing.” Or it could go the way of Myspace, Wave, and maybe Ello.
As social media nerds we’re looked to often as “experts.” But we all have our own opinions based upon our own needs and experiences.
How do you curate content to share online? You do it by curating people. Be a people broker.
Is your Twitter feed worth reading by you?
Would you like your own Facebook Page?
Let me tell you a story.
Let’s go back to the summer of 2004 when my sister and her friends came to visit me here in Southern California. They were curious about the Southern California lifestyle.
“Where do you want to eat?”
“Anywhere but a chain,” they said.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with the Cheesecake Factory or Pizza Hut, but they’re the same here as they are in Northern California, that’s the point of a chain. They wanted local flavor.
“What about Wahoo’s?” I asked. “It’s a local chain.”
That phrase “local chain” got them curious. So we went to Wahoo’s who started here in Orange County in 1988 and they loved it. They had a great meal and got to experience part of Orange County’s local culture.
Fringe Players
Chris Brogan, in a Women in Business Today video said:
“All of the experts… we all see it all. … If …300,000 people are tweeting Mashable. Who cares? You know what? Go find interesting fringe players that no one’s ever heard of and treat them like they’re the experts. You’ll have more fun.”
Curation Tools
Now, I’ve talked about being a people curator before, so if you’ve followed quality people, why not use that to your benefit?
You don’t need a third party tool to tell you what to tweet. You’re better than just another account that tweets Mashable, BuzzFeed, or TechCrunch.
Don’t get me wrong, you’ll see Gary Vaynerchuk, Ted Rubin, Mashable, and other well-known people in my tweets. But you’ll also read from Carol Stephen, Ruby Rusine, and Amy Donohue.
I’ve found some of my own gems, “local flavor,” or “fringe players” as Chris Brogan calls them. They’re on my “Social Friends” list on Twitter. I know, if I want reliable content to share, I can go right there. I don’t need some fancy tool to curate content other than my own Twitter lists.
Win-Win-Win
When you curate people and share their content, it shows that you’re a social person. It shows that you reciprocate. It helps promote your new connections. Your audience benefits from another perspective and a local flavor.
The best practice for social media is to be a polite human being. Yes. It really is this simple. If someone compliments you, respond. Ignoring people is the best way to alienate your potential audience.
Be a polite human.
Yes, I’m Captain Obvious today. Or am I?
Many of us in geekland have immersed ourselves in social media and you can be blinded to those things that seem obvious.
Let me digress.
When I was in college, the “science for teachers” course was so easy, having already taken AP Chemistry in high school, that I couldn’t believe we had to take it. But I’ll never forget what my professor said to me:
“You’ll have a hard time teaching math and science, Bridget.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you won’t get why they don’t get it.”
That became a driving factor in my mind for years to come. In fact, when I was a student teacher in the second grade, I was given the remedial math group. Our task: to learn to read an analog clock.
When I was a kid, people didn’t all have digital, so the only choice was analog (and, to be totally honest, I read it best to this day).
I tried EVERYTHING I could think of to teach these kids how to read the clock.
One day, I had an epiphany.
We became the clock.
How? I made two sticks, one longer than the other, to represent the clock’s hands. The kids sat down in a circle, twelve of them, and each held a number. When the short hand pointed at a person, they announced their number, followed by the long hand who announced the minutes represented by their number and position on the face.
It worked.
What seemed obvious to me was a challenge to that group.
Fast forward to 2013 in my first social media panel and questions and answers. I was, honestly, aghast that after the three presentations a person asked what the best practices are.
It’s a social network. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to tell people: “You should thank somebody for talking to you.” Like he tweeted to me something “Oh I’m really excited” and I responded.
Because if David said something to me like “Oh, I really like your necklace” and I just turned around. How rude is that? Do you think David’s going to want to be my friend anymore? We don’t do this stuff in real life! Right?
And he’s like “Dude. She’s wacked.” But I’m saying… (laughter) …That’s not how it works.
But that’s how people do it on Twitter all the time. They’ll say something, “@David Oh I really like that color blue on you.” (Which is a great color on you, by the way.) And then he just …ignores me. How do you think we’re going to have a relationship? We’re not going to have a relationship.
The next tweet is going to be “@David is a jackass because he’s not responding to me” or I’m going to be thinking it in my brain. Or you won’t respond at all. But it’s sitting out there on the internet… on the interwebs.
What we do online, we would never do in person. Would you walk away from someone who was talking to you? Would you parrot back what someone said? Would you bully someone in person?
Derek Sivers has a video called “A Real Person, A Lot Like You” that I’ve watched nearly a dozen times. He says that the internet or computers has a way of dehumanizing us. We feel more bold to antagonize or be mean. We need to realize that on the other end of the internet is a real person, a lot like us.
So what’s the best practice for social media?
Be a polite human being. It wins every single time.
I’ve broken down the Keys to Being Social by topic or characteristic in this book available on Amazon.
It drives me nutty when people expect a social media manager to also be an expert in SEO, have a communications or journalism degree, be the PR person, create infographics, and design and update the website.
Small businesses often want a one-size-fits-all solution. I would, too. However, the technical depth required for design and SEO may not even exist in the same human being. Many of us social media managers have varying degrees of expertise in these fields, but should they be required? I say no.
The person at the wheel of social media shouldn’t be in charge of the entire marketing car.
A racecar driver isn’t in charge of the funding or building of his car. He isn’t even in charge of the maintenance nor is he responsible for pit stop tire changes. Certainly, he doesn’t have to book the race. He has a team for that. He has to arrive, make appearances, connect with the crowd, make fans, drive the car, and win.
Social media management is just part of that winning team.
It’s always nice if a manager understands the parallel fields because they work better together. Having a conceptual understanding of search engine optimization (SEO) allows a writer to include key phrases in the blog posts. Understanding YouTube captioning and how it helps you rank higher in search motivates us to use it more frequently. Understanding the importance of visual elements relating to our social posts to reinforce the overall message matters.
So, if we now agree on what shouldn’t be required for a Social Media Manager, then what skills are important?
Seven Things A Social Media Manager Should Be:
1. Organized
An organized person is usually routine-oriented as well. Checking up on comments and following up on tweets should be part of a daily routine. The closer to real-time a brand responds, the better it reflects on the brand.
2. Responsive
Being ignored is one of the most offensive things to fans. I’ve had tweets that were not responded to for a year. A year. I mean, if you’re not going to respond then why are you on social media?
3. Polite
“Please” and “thank you” never go out of style and this goes hand-in-hand with being responsive. It’s just polite to respond in a timely manner. And having good manners is even more important when the comment is a complaint.
4. Engaging
Asking questions, responding to comments on blogs, tweets, or other social media posts in a creative way furthers the conversations that you’re facilitating on social platforms. Do more than just say, “Thank you.” Are you wondering what social media engagement looks like?This blog post may help.
5. Creative
Being able to draw is not the prerequisite to creativity. Trying new ideas and thinking differently is creative. A social media manager should be able to craft posts natively on each platform in a way that speaks to each platform’s culture.
6. Collaborative
If you’re not doing all of the “digital marketing” then you’re collaborating. Maybe you have to get ideas approved or gain approval for blog post drafts. Being flexible with your creative, engaging, polite ideas is part of that collaboration.
7. Discrete
So many people these days lack the moral compass to know what is offensive. Being wise enough to think out how people will respond to your post, no matter how great the pop culture reference is, will separate you from the Social Media Winners and Losers.
I started thinking about friendship the other day. People often tease me about my “internet” friends or “digital” friends.